After lying around the house for four months last summer recovering from a traumatic leg/knee break, I vowed I was going to get the most out of my next capable summer. Fast forward to an incredibly difficult year, and here we are. I’m walking again (not running) and ready to see the world. Or at least the deep back country of the Florida Everglades.
Day trips are my fave! Â Wish TZ felt the same. He hates traveling in the car, but is always game despite his disdain for road trips. Disdain may be slightly exaggerated, but whatever. We both took a couple extra days off work since the 4th of July was midweek. We decided to to take an extended long weekend to do some day trips.
I woke up Friday morning and Googled “South Florida Day Trips” and went through a list of about 87 photos with captions of the best Day Trips South Florida has to offer. If something piqued my interest I would research it further. So when I happened upon a day trip to Loop Road in our very own back yard, I delved a little further into it. I was so intrigued by it and had a hard yearning to see it. It took convincing and urging the mister a bit, but I won him over.
We packed  a cooler with some sandwiches, water, and chocolate…because…chocolate! Girlfriend isn’t getting stranded in the Everglades without chocolate. I also asked TZ to bring along his gun, just in case. So chocolate and gun, check check.  After all, when venturing deep into the primitive everglades and swamp, one never knows what danger lurks beneath or in the brush.
It was a hot one too! Florida summers are unbelievably humid and sticky hot. We poured ourselves into the sweltering car, cranked the AC, and headed south to Miami Dade county.
Loop Road is situated off of Tamiami Trail (US 41) just a few miles west of Shark Valley bike trail. We’ve already done the bike trail eleventy billion times, so it was going to be a new and exciting adventure. At least that’s how I had envisioned it. Loop Road is a 24 mile strip of a narrow two lane dirt road that traverses through the deep south Florida swamp lands. If you’re in a hurry to get somewhere, it’s probably not your cup of tea. Or if you hate bugs. Or alligators. Or panthers. Or wild boar. Or burmese pythons. Or bears.
Loop Road was notoriously known as a road full of brothels, speakeasy’s, and moon shine distilleries back in the early 1900’s. It was rumored that Al Capone owned a gambling establishment/speakeasy in Pinecrest during prohibition, operated by his brother, and Al would sneak away from his home in Miami and visit. The place burned down in 1928 and nothing remains but the front steps. Man, the nostalgia of Loop Road had me so intrigued. I felt so Bonnie and Clyde-esque.
Before we entered Loop Road, I made TZ stop for gas because I’m a freak a zoid about things like that. What if we ran out of gas on the dirt road and were stranded? Would we die of thirst? Get eaten by alligators or a burmese python? Attacked by a wild boar or panther? Christ on a stick! We might need to turn around and go back home.
As TZ pumped gas, I waited in line outside for the restrooms on the side of the decrepit gas station. Only the men’s room was in service, or someone was blowing up the women’s bathroom something awful. As I waited outside, I noticed the largest grasshopper I had ever seen in my entire life. Y’all, look how big it is! Â Me and bugs don’t get along so well. At all. I can’t believe I was even entertaining the thought of going into one of the buggiest places on the planet. In the middle of summer.
After we gased up and peed we drove about 3 miles down the road and came upon Loop Road, in the town of Pinecrest. We entered from the east end. As we curved around the road heading west, there was a strand of about 20 or so concrete houses situated on the south side of the road. Who in the literal fuck lives out here? The Miccosukee Indians, that’s who. They basically own and operate a casino at Tamiami Trail and Route 927. And they run a bunch of air boat tour rides as well. I didn’t bother taking any photos of the houses, mostly because they were nicer than ours!
No way in hell could I ever live out there. Even at either end where they have electricity and plumbing. Because…1.) Gigantic bugs, critters, and wild animals. 2.) Where the bleep is the nearest Publix and Target? and 3.) See number one.
A little further down the paved road, we came to the now dilapidated Pinecrest gas station. Can you imagine this place in it’s glory days? Al Capone could have pumped gas at these very pumps. Or purchased an ice cold coke outside this station. Oh the secrets this gas station must hold.
TZ didn’t appear very impressed and seemed more like my driver than my Clyde. What the eff, man? We continued on and came upon a nature trail to our right. I considered maybe giving it a go until I read the sign next to it. Mmmmm, pass.
The next establishment we happened upon we almost passed unnoticed had I not seen the street sign out of the corner of my eye that read Lucky’s.
“Stop! Back up!” Tz slammed on the brakes and threw the car in reverse asking, “What?”
I rolled down my window to get a shot. “I read about this guy online. He’s a nude photographer.” Lucky Cole and his wife, Maureen, photograph scantily clad (if at all) women during the week. And on the weekends open up the gates to the public and serve beer, hot dogs, hamburgers, and venison chili. Lucky loves to tell tales of days gone by. He has lived on Loop Road in Pinecrest since the 1950’s. Â He supposedly got his name by charming women into paying him for boudoir and naked photos. Isn’t that just called a photographer?
Unfortunately for us, it was Friday so the gates were closed. Best believe we are coming back here again some time in the very near future. Lucky Cole’s place has been added to my Bucket List.
We eventually came to the end of the paved road where it met dirt. Now, we’re talkin’! Man, I literally could envision this place in the 1920’s. Old model T’s with rumble seats driving down the road runnin’ hooch and dodging the law and gators.
This is where Pinecrest ends and it becomes Big Cypress National National Preserve. This is why the town basically folded. The government bought out the land and inhabited homes deeper in Loop Road. Loggers used to live out here and cut down the bald cypress trees. Now, the tree are protected as well as everything else on the land.
We drove a few miles in and I attempted to get out to photograph an alligator that TZ spotted along one of the bridges. By the time I got out of the car though it had swam away. But guess what flew by and ran into my leg? A big fat juicy grasshopper. I screamed and ran back to the car. I’ll be photographing safely from the comfort of the air conditioned car and from the sun roof to get shots from higher up. Not that it stopped bugs from flying in to my head or anything.
The road heading west.
The view looking east.
We’re in the middle of summer so I expected to see less wildlife as the gators would be hiding out in the cool water and the other critters and animals would be seeking the shelter of the shaded brush. Fine by me. Why did I come out here again?
Oh right. To get some great shots and explore something really cool. We ran into a few gators in the water. I was thankful for my sun roof.
You really have to quiet yourself and just listen to all the sounds nature is singing. This is as primitive and as wild as it gets. Most people don’t even know about this place and I’ve lived in south Florida for 12 years and have never heard of it.
You have to look and listen really hard because you can miss a lot if you’re not paying attention. If you look close, you can see a turtle on the tree branch in the water.
Did you know the majestic bald cypress trees are the oldest living thing in the southern United States? Yup, older than Paula Deen herself. They can live to be 3,500 years old. Damn, that’s old.
For some reason, bromeliad’s or “air plants” love to grow on bald cypress trees. Tz called my attention to this beautiful scene right here. Just look at how majestic the tree is, then boom! Red bromeliad growing out of it’s side.
We didn’t see too much more that was exciting. Except…we we’re nearing the end of the road and TZ say’s “Is that a bear in the road?” I look over at him like he’s nuts. I mean, I can see a black blob in the sweltering heat on the road ahead, but I can’t make it out. It turns and starts to walk across the road on all fours and that’s when I’m like, “Yep, it’s a bear!” Holy shit, had we not stopped to photograph something we definitely would have run into that thing or at least saw it from a closer view so I could have gotten a shot with my camera. I literally would have shat myself. Like that bear could have totally surprised someone coming out of the brush and sauntering by.
Later in the evening when I was posting my photos to Instagram, I looked at the hashtag looproad and literally saw a photo of a huge burmese python slithering across the dirt road. OMG! OMG! NO!
Welp, we came out of Loop Road unscathed at the Monroe Station entrance on the west side where it met back up with Tamiami Trail. Monroe Station used to be a gas station and place to eat before people ventured back into the deep swamp. It had been boarded up and abandoned for years but burned down to a pile of rubble in 2016. Very sad. I wanted a photograph of the rubble but I think TZ was tired of my swamp shenanigan’s for the day. So we decided to just keep going west and go to Marco Island for dinner before heading back home to Fort Lauderdale.
I did get him to pull over one more time so I could get a photo the smallest post office in the United States in Ochopee, Florida.
